2006-2007 school year

August 22, 2006

·         Enthusiasm is excitement with inspiration, motivation, and a pinch of creativity. - Bo Bennett.

·         You are rewarding a teacher poorly if you remain always a pupil. - Friedrich Nietzsche

·         'Twas in a restaurant they met, Romeo and Juliet; Julie could not pay the debt, So Rome-oed, what Julie et.,

·         I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times. - Everett Dirksen

·         We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.—Chris Rock

·         A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.—James Dent

·         WOD: Erythrophobia-n-fear of the color red or of blushing

·         AWOD:  Progress-n-man's ability to complicate simplicity. - Thor-Heyerdahl

·         LYRIC:  “It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, would you be mine, could you be mine, would you be my neighbor?"—Mr. Rogers



“mix business with pleasures”


August 24, 2006

·         My sole inspiration is a telephone call from a director. -Cole Porter,composer and songwriter (1893-1964)

·         If you don't make mistakes, you aren't really trying - Coleman Hawkings

·         My grandmother's 90; she's dating a man 93. They never argue: they can't hear each other.—Cathy Ladman

·         Having the critics praise you is like having the hangman say you've got a pretty neck.—Eli Wallach

·         Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?—Elayne Boosler

·         Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?—Groucho Marx

·         WOD:  Schadenfreude-n- Taking malicious satisfaction in another person's troubles

·         AWOD:  Everything-n-The ability to concentrate and to use time well.—Lee Iococca

·         LYRIC:  “Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.”—The Fray: All At Once


10   10    10    10   10   10   10


10   10    10    10   10   10   10

“intense competition”


August 28, 2006

·         Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can - there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did. - Sarah Caldwell.

·         To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom. - Bertrand Russell

·         I have three kids, one of each.—Rodney Dangerfield

·         Grammatically, should of is a predatory admonition; as such, it is always used as part of a herpetological phrase.—Dave Barry

·         After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

·         Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.

·         WOD:  Maudlin-adj- effusively sentimental or easily moved to tears.

·         AWOD:  Diplomat-n-a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

·         LYRIC:  So shine on me sunshine walk with me world its a skip-a-dee-doo-da day. I'm the happiest girl, in the whole USA.”—Donna Fargo



      2)  Think



“think twice before  speaking”


August 30, 2006

·         He who smiles rather than rages is always the stronger.—Japanese proverb

·         All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them.—Galileo Galilei

·         For fast acting relief, try s-l-o-w-i-n-g d-o-w-n.—Lily Tomlin

·         He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost, But Miles From The Next Exit.

·         Where there's smoke, you'll find my wife cooking dinner.

·         Her mother was a cultivated women...she was born in a greenhouse.—Spike Milligan

·         WOD:  Louche-(LOOSH)-adj-of questionable taste or morals; lacking in respectability

·         AWOD:  Happiness-n-good health and a bad memory.—Ingrid Bergman

·         LYRIC:  “All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade away.”—Fuel: Shimmer



2  5  3  7  11

prime cuts


September 1, 2006

·         The best portion of a good man's life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.—William Wordsworth

·         Men love to wonder and that is the seed of our science.—Ralph Waldo Emerson

·         If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.—Joan Rivers

·         I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

·         Quick, call a witch doctor! My witch is sick.

·         There's a door.
Where does it go?
It stays where it is, I think.—Terry Pratchett

·         WOD:  Calumniate-v- Making false statements about a person, intending to hurt their reputation

·         AWOD:  Compromise-n-The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.—Sherry Rothfield

·         LYRIC:  Oh into the sea of waking dreams,I follow without pride, Nothing stands between us here, And I won’t be denied.”—Sarah McLachlan


R   R

I                 I

V                          V

A                                A

L                                   L

“arch rivals”


September 6, 2006

·         Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.—Thomas Merton

·         We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself.—Lloyd Alexander

·         I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.—Steven Wright

·         Save the Trees?...Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!—Billy Connolly

·         The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.

·         How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?

·         WOD:  Zeitgeist-n- the popular outlook -intellectually, morally, and culturally - in a particular period or generation.

·         AWOD:  Ambition-n-a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy

·         LYRIC:  “How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?”—Bob Dylan





“senseless violence”


September 8, 2006

·         You know you've read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend.—Paul Sweeney

·         Love beauty; it is the shadow of God on the universe.—Gabriela Mistral

·         I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.—Steve Allen

·         If you can't fix it with duck tape you have'nt used enough.

·         There are three things I have always loved, and never understood - painting, music, women - Fontenelle

·         There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson.—Bart Simpson

·         WOD:  Hoi polloi-n- a term of contempt describing the common people, the rabble.

·         AWOD:  Truth-n-what works. - William James

·         LYRIC:  “Don’t fall away, And leave me to myself, Don’t fall away, And leave love bleeding,  In my hands.”—Fuel:Hemmorage



“foreign currency”



September 12, 2006

·         Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.—Dr. Seuss

·         Solutions are not the answer.—Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

·         Strip mining prevents forest fires.

·         Once, somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was. She said, "No, but I did get the license number.”—Rodney Dangerfield

·         Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent.

·         One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.—Bertrand Russell

·         WOD:  Gambit-n- A clever move or maneuver, especially one made in the early part of a game.

·         AWOD:  Youth-n-a disease from which we all recover.—Dorothy Fulheim

·         LYRIC:  “She moved from long beach down to l.a., Right now she’s selling oranges by the freeway.”—Sublime


Tired  Tired

Think  Think

“Too tired to think”


September 18, 2006

·         When you cannot make up your mind which of two evenly balanced courses of action you should take - choose the bolder.—W.J. Slim

·         The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it.—Terry Pratchett

·         I wonder sometimes if manufacturers of foolproof items keep a fool or two on their payroll to test things.—Alan Coren

·         A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.—Dennis Miller

·         There is no point in driving yourself mad trying to stop yourself going mad. You might just as well give in and save your sanity for later.—Douglas Adams

·         Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.—Robert Orben

·         WOD:  Raconteur-n- someone who tells amusing or interesting stories.

·         AWOD:  Luck-n-what happens when preparation meets opportunity.—Darrell Royal

·         LYRIC:  I know you’re lookin’ for a ruby in a mountain of rocks, But there ain’t no Coupe de Ville hidin’ at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box”—Meatloaf: Two out of Three



“splitting headache”


September 20, 2006

·         The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.—Sven Goran Eriksson

·         Anyone who doesn't make mistakes isn't trying hard enough.—Wess Roberts

·         I would like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

·         If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?—George Carlin

·         This are is strictly restricted to unauthorized personnel.

·         Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God. I could be eating a slow learner.—Lynda Montgomery

·         WOD:  Pithy-n- speech or writing that is short, direct, and memorable; a slogan or aphorism.

·         AWOD:  Alimony-n-A system wherein two people make a mistake, and one of them keeps on paying for it.

·         LYRIC:  All my lazy teenage boasts ... are now high precision ghosts.”—Prefab Sprout


Put 12” other

“put one foot in front of the other”


September 26, 2006

·         The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.—Mark Twain

·         Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.—Albert Einstein

·         A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.—Michael Winner

·         If something's neither here nor there, where the heck is it?—Chic Murray

·         People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.—Alexei Sayle

·         Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated.—Lou Holtz

·         WOD:  Internecine-adj-characterized by bloodshed on all sides involved, as in battle.

·         AWOD:  Architecture-n-the art of how to waste space.—Phillip Johnstone

·         LYRIC:  So afraid of one who's so afraid of you, what you gonna do”—Heart: Crazy On You



“The plot thickens”


October 3, 2006

·         The happy people are those who are producing something; the bored people are those who are consuming much and producing nothing.—William Ralph Inge

·         One machine can do the work of fifty men.  No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man.—Euler

·         Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.—Sir Winston Churchill

·         As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...—Sir Norman Wisdom

·         Cod are not very good swimmers so they are easily overtaken by trawlers and nets.—British government report on why cod fish are  disappearing from the North Sea.

·         Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.

·         WOD:  Agitprop-n- A political message, particularly one that is declared in drama, literature, music or other of the arts, usually has a negative connotation.

·         AWOD:  Husband-n-someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.

·         LYRIC:  My motto's always been: When it's right, it's right”—Starland Vocal Band









October 5, 2006

·         Never undertake to prove things that are so evident in themselves that one has nothing clearer by which to prove them.—Blaise Pascal

·         If people do not believe that mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is.—John Louis von Neumann

·         It's difficult to work in a group when you're omnipotent.

·         My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt.—Chuck Nevitt,

·         It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.—Douglas Adams

·         I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with them later.—Mitch Hedberg

·         WOD:  Craven-n or adj-a coward or cowardly.

·         AWOD:  Frustration-n-not having anyone to blame but yourself.

·         LYRIC:  You're digging for gold yet throwing away a fortune in feelings, yeah someday you’ll pay.”—Foreigner: Cold As Ice






October 10, 2006

·         Data, Data everywhere and not a thought to think.—Jesse Shera

·         [A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.—Evan Esar, Esar's Comic Dictionary

·         Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.—Terry Pratchett

·         We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!—Douglas Adams

·         To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

·         I cna ytpe 300 wrods pre mniuet!

·         WOD:  Halcyon-adj- calm, peaceful, or tranquil, as in weather or nostalgia.

·         AWOD:  Consensus-n-When everyone agrees to say collectively what no one believes individually.—Abba Eban

·         LYRIC:  You always have my unspoken passion although I might not seem to care”—Billy Joel: Just The Way You Are


LIES                                           FEAR


“paralyze with fear”


October 12, 2006

·         [The normal student attempts to fix formal terminology] in his memory because it means nothing to his intelligence.—Blaise Pascal

·         Mathematics are well and good but nature keeps dragging us around by the nose.—Albert Einstein

·         ERROR 406: file corrupt: config.earth -- reboot universe? (Y/N)

·         I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run.—Babe Ruth

·         You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.—Terry Pratchett

·         My decision is maybe and that's final!

·         WOD:  Paean-n- a song or shout of triumph or exultation.

·         AWOD:  Work-n-something accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.

·         LYRIC:  And I feel  so much depends on the weather.”—STP: Plush


“root canal”


October 16, 2006

·         Our incomes are like our shoes; if too small, they gall and pinch us; but if too large, they cause us to stumble and to trip.—John Locke, philosopher (1632-1704)

·         I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.—Calvin Trillin

·         Teamwork is essential -- it allows you to blame someone else.

·         I've got a very poor sense of direction. I keep forgetting which way is forwards.—Geoffry Parfitt

·         I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance...she leaned over and pushed me.

·         I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.—Steven Wright

·         WOD:  Luddite-n- anyone who is opposed to technological change or new working methods.

·         AWOD:  Anger-n-the prelude to courage.—Eric Hoffer

·         LYRIC:  I woke up this morning and the sun was gone.”—Boston: More Than A Feeling



“the middle of nowhere”


October 18, 2006

·         We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.—Norman MacFinan

·         I don't agree with mathematics; the sum total of zeros is a frightening figure.—Stanislaw J. Lec, More Unkempt Thoughts

·         Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.

·         I've gone to find myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait!

·         The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.—Douglas Adams

·         Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.—Wendell Johnson

·         WOD:  Polyglot-n- Someone who is able to speak, write, or read several languages is a polyglot. Or a mixture or confusion of languages.

·         AWOD:  Candidate-n-someone who gets money from the rich and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.

·         LYRIC:  Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup.”—Beatles: Across the Universe



“long time, no see”


October 20, 2006

·         If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.—Phil Pastoret

·         I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.—Terry Pratchett

·         My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.—Errol Flynn

·         So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.—Tim Vine

·         Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.—Leslie Nielsen

·         WOD:  Coterie-n- An intimate group of people unified by a common interest or purpose

·         AWOD:  Mother-n-A travel agent for guilt trips.

·         LYRIC:  Hey you big moon guide me to shelter”—Deftones: My Own Summer










“ease on down the road”


October 24, 2006

·         Writing tip:  Use mathematical jargon iff it is absolutely necessary.

·         The more things you do, the more you can do.—Lucille Ball

·         Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you a-flat minor.

·         Sarcasm... yes, I bet that will go down really well.

·         The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.—George Carlin

·         When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.—Nick Arnette

·         WOD:  Paroxysm-n-a fit, attack, or convulsion. It can also describe a sudden violent action or uncontrollable outburst of emotion.

·         AWOD:  Advice-n-that thing we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.—Erica Jong

·         LYRIC:  “She has no fear of failure, she's not bent with broken dreams. For the future's just beginning when you're always seventeen.”—Harry Chapin




“pace back and forth”


October 26, 2006

·         Iron rusts from disuse; water loses its purity from stagnation ... even so does inaction sap the vigour of the mind.—Leonardo da Vinci

·         The conditions of conquest are always easy. We have but to toil awhile, endure awhile, believe always, and never turn back.—Marcus Annaeus Seneca

·         A billion hours ago, human life appeared on earth. A billion minutes ago, Christianity emerged. A billion Coca Colas ago was yesterday morning.—Unknown (from a Coca-Cola report)

·         The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.Andy Rooney

·         By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.—Robert Frost

·         How is the world ruled, and how do wars start? Diplomats tell lies to journalists, and they believe what they read.—Karl Kraus

·         WOD:  Tableau-n- a striking or artistic grouping of people or things in a picture or a dramatic scene.

·         AWOD:  Love-n-a device invented by bank managers to make us overdrawn.—Arnold J Rimmer

·         LYRIC:  “Even when your hope is gone, move along, move along just to make it through.”—All American Rejects: Move Along





“sign on the dotted line”


October 30, 2006

·         Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.—Mike Barfield

·         When you go in search of honey you must expect to be stung by bees.—Joseph Joubert

·         Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they left their keys.

·         I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

·         I worked in a pet shop and people kept asking how big I'd get.—Rodney Dangerfield

·         I am a deeply superficial person.—Andy Warhol

·         WOD:  Imbroglio-n- a confused, often embarrassing, state of affairs.

·         AWOD:  Diplomat-n-a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.—Robert Frost

·         LYRIC:  “I will be calling you to see if you’re sleeping are you dreaming.  If you’re dreaming are you dreaming of me?”—Blue October





“useless information”


November 1, 2006

·         I am one of the unpraised, unrewarded millions without whom Statistics would be a bankrupt science. It is we who are born, who marry, who die, in constant ratios.—Logan Pearsall Smith

·         At first dreams seem impossible, then improbable, then inevitable.—Christopher Reeve (1952-2004) American Actor

·         Marriage is not a word—it’s a sentence.

·         And that's the world in a nutshell -- an appropriate receptacle.—Stan Dunn

·         I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.—Steven Wright

·         God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

·         WOD:  Aegis-n- to act with the protection, support, or guardianship of someone.

·         AWOD:  Technology-n-a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.—Max Frisch

·         LYRIC:  Muskrat Susie, Muskrat Sam, do the jidder bug down in Muskrat Land.........”—Captain & Tenile



“foot in the door”


November 5, 2006

·         Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics.  I can assure you that mine are still greater.—Einstein

·         We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.—Charles R. Swindoll

·         A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."—Jack Handey

·         I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.—Virginia Woolf

·         Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.—Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

·         Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.—Frank L. Visco, How to Write Good

·         WOD:  Philistine-n- a person who is disdainful of intellectual or artistic pursuits.

·         AWOD:  Health-n-the slowest rate at which one can die.

·         LYRIC:  “The wheels on the bus go round and round all through the town.”—Kid’s Song



“wolf in sheeps clothing”


November 7, 2006

·         Operations of thought are like cavalry charges in a battle - they are strictly limited in number, they require fresh horses and must be made only at decisive moments.—Alfred North Whitehead

·         The great thing and the hard thing is to stick to things when you have outlived the first interest, and not yet got the second, which comes with a sort of mastery.—Janet Erskine Stuart

·         This is a free country, madam. We have the right to share your privacy in a public place.—Peter Ustinov

·         I have Bright's disease and he has mine.—S.J. Thomas

·         The big print giveth and the fine print taketh away.—J. Falton Sheen

·         The problem that we thought was a problem was, indeed, a problem, but not the problem we thought was the problem.—Mike Smith

·         WOD:  Dudgeon-n-a feeling of resentment or anger; offense; indignation.

·         AWOD:  Church-n-the only society on earth that exists for the benefit of non-members.—William Temple

·         LYRIC:  “Close your eyes and think of someone you admire, and let me kiss you.”—Morrissey


2          nd

“split second”


November 9, 2006

·         The calculus exam was a piece of cake -- which was a bit of a surprise, actually, because I was expecting some questions on a sheet of paper.

·         Being defeated is often only a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent.—Marilyn vos Savant 1946-NA

·         What you don't know would make a good book.—Sydney Smith

·         Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.—Jacques Languirand

·         Well, I have one consolation. No candidate was ever elected ex-president by such a large majority!—William Howard Taft, 1912

·         When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, "I want my daughter back by 8:15."  I said, "The middle of August? Cool!—Steven Wright

·         WOD:  Rapacious-adj- someone who is given to plundering or taking things by force. Near synonyms include ravenous, voracious, and gluttonous.

·         AWOD:  Economist-n-a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.—Alfred A. Knopf

·         LYRIC:  “I think I’m gonna be sad, I think it’s today.  The girl that’s driving me mad is going away.  She’s got a ticket to ride, but she don’t care.”—Beatles: Ticket to Ride






“look out below”


November 13, 2006

·         Medicine makes people ill, mathematics make them sad, and theology makes them sinful.—Martin Luther

·         An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep.—Arab proverb

·         I just love Chinese food. My favorite dish is number 27.—Clement Atlee

·         You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it—Henny Youngman

·         A little explained, a little endured, a little forgiven and the quarrel is cured.

·         Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.—Franklin P. Jones

·         WOD:  Dross-n- Something that is useless or worthless

·         AWOD:  Advertising-n-the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.—Sinclair Lewis

·         LYRIC:  “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman, like you imagined when you were young.”—The Killers



“someone’s after me”


November 15, 2006

·         A sine curve goes off to infinity, or at least the end of the blackboard.—Prof. Steiner

·         Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.—Epicurus

·         It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper.—Jerry Seinfeld

·         Don't shout for help at night. You might wake your neighbors.—Stanislaw J. Lem

·          Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.—Jim Backus

·         Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

·         WOD:  Profundity-n-Depth of intellect, feeling, or meaning.

·         AWOD:  Saint-n-a sinner that kept on trying.—Robert Louis Stevenson

·         LYRIC:  “Everybody wants to see you suffer.  They know that you need the pain so much.  They throw you up a rope . . . then they charge you with the rescue blues.”—Ryan Adams



I  R

“fair and square”


November 17, 2006

·         I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.—Fran Lebowitz

·         There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.—John Andrew Holmes

·         I'm a light eater. When it gets light, I start eating.—Tommy John

·         I live on a one-way dead-end street.—Steven Wright

·         Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better.

·         I think trash is the most important manifestation of culture we have in my lifetime.—Johnny Legend

·         WOD:  Abstruse-adj-difficult to understand; recondite

·         AWOD:  Belly-n-the reason why man does not mistake himself for a god.—Friedrich Nietzsche

·         LYRIC:  “I hope this dream never ends, ‘cause you know you’re my best-est friend.”—Ryan Huston




“little bighorn”


November 21, 2006

·         Americans have always been willing to pay a price for freedom. If you don't believe it, look at the divorce statistics!

·         If you can't be thankful for what you have, be thankful for what you have escaped.

·         Everyone has something to be thankful for: even the man who can't pay his debts can be thankful he isn't one of his creditors.

·         This age of the atomic bomb is the first time in history that a person can be thankful that he's around to be thankful.

·         French wine growers fear that this year's vintage may be entirely spoiled due to the grape treaders' sit-in.—Ronnie Corbett

·         People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it.—Joey Adams

·         WOD:  Surfeit-n- excess or overindulgence in eating or drinking.

·         AWOD:  Turkey-n-A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.—Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

·         AWOD2: Optimist-n-a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.—Irv Kupcinet

·         LYRIC:  “If you talk too much my head will explode.”—People on Planes



“attorney general”


November 28, 2006

A pinch of probability is worth a pound of perhaps.—James Thurber

·         Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow". –Anonymous

·         Long periods of drought are always followed by rain.

·         I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.—Jennifer Greene Duncan

·         Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.—Doug Larson

·         An infallible method of conciliating a tiger is to allow oneself to be devoured.—Konrad Adenauer

·         WOD:  Éclat-n-Great brilliance, as of performance or achievement. Conspicuous success.

·         AWOD:  Junk-n-something you've kept for years and throw it away three weeks before you need it.

·         LYRIC:  “The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun . . . .can you read my mind.”—The Killers



“excuse me”


November 30, 2006

·         Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal--if you don't use your thumbs.—Tom Lehrer

·         Use, do not abuse; neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy.—Voltaire

·         The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a tall window.—Robert Paul

·         There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.—Ogden Nash

·         If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.—George Bernard Shaw

·         Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off.—Ralph Bus

·         WOD:  Recondite-adj- dealing with very profound, difficult, or abstruse subject matter.

·         AWOD:  Gentleman-n-any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.—Fred Allen

·         LYRIC:  “Immobilized by the thought of you.  Paralyzed by the sight of you.  Hypnotized by the words you say.  Not true but I believe anyway.”—Maroon 5: Shiver









“keeping up with the joneses”


December 4, 2006

·         Thoughts die the moment they are embodied by words.—Schopenhauer

·         For me it is sufficient to have a corner by my hearth, a book and a friend, and a nap undisturbed by creditors or grief.—Fernandez de Andrada

·         Some might say I’m throwing my money away at cryopreservation, but I  say, what the heck, you only live once!

·         I used to be conceited but now I'm perfect.

·         It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.—Hank Aaron

·         Britain has invented a new missile. It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.—Walter Walker

·         WOD:  Virtu-n-A love of or taste for fine objects of art.

·         AWOD:  Diet-n-when you have to go to some length to change your width.

·         LYRIC:  "She's cold and she's cruel but she knows what she's doin' She pushed me in the pool At our last school reunion.”—The Click Five: Just the Girl










“search high and low”


December 6, 2006

·         All theory, dear friend, is gray, but the golden tree of actual life springs ever green.—Goethe

·         Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.—Robert Brault

·         The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim.—Edsgar Dijkstra

·         If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.—Scott Adams

·         Eternity is really long, especially near the end.—Woody Allen

·         He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.—Groucho Marx

·         WOD:  Risible-adj-Capable of laughing; disposed to laugh.

·         AWOD:  Love-n-an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.—Robert Frost

·         LYRIC:  I'm just a no class beat down fool and I will always be that way I might as well enjoy my life And watch the stars play."—Weezer: Beverly Hills



“foreign language”


December 8, 2006

·         We must agree that the idea [of formal definition of limit] is not sufficiently clear to use as a basis for a science in which certainty must be founded on evidence, especially when presented to beginners.—J.L. Lagrange

·         The old believe everything; the middle aged suspect everything: the young know everything.—Oscar Wilde

·         Never do today that which will become someone else's responsibility tomorrow.—David Brent

·         My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.—Woody Allen

·         She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.—Groucho Marx

·         They misunderestimated me.—George W Bush

·         WOD: Interstice-n- A small interval of time.

·         AWOD:  Happiness-n-your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.—Johnny Carson

·         LYRIC:  "I want to live my life, multiply my existence, and feel like I got the lot..."—Terrorvision: Junior



“who’s in charge”


December 12, 2006

·         [A good calculating machine could] weave algebraic patterns just as the Jacquard loom weaves flowers and leaves.—Augusta Ada Byron

·         Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.—Oscar Wilde

·         A committee of three gets things done if two don't show up.

·         If at first you don't succeed, you'll get a lot of unsolicited advice.

·         I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me.—Woody Allen

·         The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.—George Deukmejian

·         WOD:  Paucity-n-smallness of quantity; scarcity; scantiness; dearth

·         AWOD:  Education-n-a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.—Will Durant

·         LYRIC:  Drag the lake, you'll find it's full of love."—Every Time I Die: Floater


3:47 p.m.


m.                   4

p. 7


“second time around”


January 3, 2007

·         [Some facts] can be seen more clearly by an example than by a proof.—Leonhard Euler

·         I am easily satisfied with the very best.—Winston Churchill

·         It's a small world, once you've made the long trip to the airport.

·         Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.—Douglas Adams

·         I’m not conceited, but I have every right to be!

·         Here, take my advice.  I’ll never use it!—Korpi

·         WOD: 

·         AWOD:  Practical politics-n-ignoring facts.—Henry Adams

·          LYRIC:  "I tip my hat to the new constitution, take a bow for the new revolution, smile and grin at the change all around, pick up my guitar and play, just like yesterday.”—The Who


B         A

A     N

T  I


“batting slump”


January 5, 2007

·         It is unworthy of excellent persons to lose hours like slaves in the labor of calculation.—Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz

·         Nothing lowers the level of conversation more than raising the voice.—Stanley Horowitz

·         I come from New York where, if you fall down, someone will pick you up by your wallet.—Al McGuire

·          Ambition in America is still rewarded -- with high taxes.

·          Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.—Ambrose Bierce

·          Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

·          WOD: 

·          AWOD:  Wit-n-educated insolence.—Aristotle

·         LYRIC:  Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out.”—Lost Prophets: Rooftops



Light LightT

“neon lights”


January 9, 2007

·         Some defects ordinarily found in the method used by mathematicians:

Defect 1: To pay more attention to proof than to evidence, and to try to convince rather than enlighten the mind.

Defect 2: To prove things that do not require proof.—Antoine Arnaud and Pierre Nicole

·         What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.—Albert Pine

·         Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.—Eleanor Roosevelt

·         Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.—Napoleon Bonaparte

·         Half the people in Hollywood are dying to be discovered and the other half are afraid they will be.—Lionel Barrymore

·         Sometimes I need what only you can provide -- your absence.

·         WOD: 

·         AWOD:  Egotist-n-a person more interested in himself than in me.—Ambrose Bierce

·         LYRIC:  To the world you may be just another girl.  But to me, baby, you are the world.”—Brad Paisley


C   O   N   T   R   A   C   TT

“contract extension”


January 11, 2007

·         There are two kinds of rigor: Intellectual rigor and mathematical rigor. They are not always the same.—Andrew Gleason,Past President of the American Mathematical Society

·         There are obviously two educations. One should teach us how to make a living and the other how to live.—James Truslow Adams

·         We have found that it's much easier to restrain our wrath when the other fellow is bigger than we are.

·         I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra.—George S. Kaufman

·         A good way to reduce your bills is to put them on microfilm.

·         This is the best book ever written by any man on the wrong side of a question of which he is profoundly ignorant.—Macaulay

·         WOD: 

·         AWOD:  Martyrdom-n-the only way a man can become famous without ability.—George Bernard Shaw

·         LYRIC:  "Take me in your arms again... lead me in my dreams again..."—Ash: A Life Less Ordinary




“through thick and thin”


January 15, 2007

·         [If] logic is the hygiene of the mathematician, it is not his source of food.—Andrew Weil

·         Doubt can only be removed by action.—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

·         Scientists have found a petrified man sitting with his feet elevated. He was probably a primitive bureaucrat.

·         Have you ever thought what Swiss cheese might smell like if it were not ventilated?

·         Give crabgrass an inch, and it will take a yard.

·         They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.—Milton Berle

·         WOD: 

·         AWOD:  Plot-n-About the only thing that modern movies leave to the imagination.

·         LYRIC:  "There's nothing you can do that can't be done... nothing you can sing that can't be sung... nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game... it's easy..."—Beatles: All You Need Is Love



“ambiguous feelings”


January 17, 2007

·         A sweater is what a child puts on when its parent feels cold, but a proof is what students have to listen to when the teacher feels shaky about a theorem. 

·         Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it... that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.—Dale Carnegie

·         They couldn't find the artist, so they hung the picture.—Gerald F. Lieberman, on bad art

·         It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week

·         We're all born brave, trusting and greedy, and most of us remain greedy.—Mignon McLaughlin

·         Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you.—Groucho Marx

·         WOD: 

·         AWOD:  Happiness-n-a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.—Robert Orben

·         LYRIC:  "The world won't end in darkness, it'll end in family fun... with Coca-Cola clouds behind a Big Mac sun..."—Beautiful South: One God


Birth 1111 Death

“once in a lifetime”


January 19, 2007

·         Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.—Albert Einstein

·         This is the highest wisdom that I own; freedom and life are earned by those alone who conquer them each day anew.—Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

·         In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.—Douglas Adams

·         You must believe in free will; there is no choice.—Isaac Bashevis Singer

·         Be sincere; be brief; be seated.—Franklin D. Roosevelt

·         What orators lack in depth they make up for in length.—Charles de Secondat

·         WOD: 

·         AWOD:  Old Age-n-About the only thing that comes to him who waits.

·         LYRIC:  "It ain't all for nothing... life ain't written in the sand... you know the tide is coming... so it's time we made a stand..."—Bon Jovi: Miracle












“musically inclined”



January 23, 2007

·         Mediocrity obtains more with application than superiority without it.—Baltasar Gracian

·         A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government .—Edward Abbey

·         Until you walk a mile in another man's shoes, It's not officially 'stealing.'

·         Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.—Plato

·         If your arrival doesn't improve a party, your departure probably does.

·         Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.—Lewis Mumford

·         WOD: 

·         AWOD: Sweat –n-the cologne of accomplishment.

·         LYRIC:  "Do you have the time... to listen to me whine... about nothing and everything all at once?”—Green Day: Basket Case



S      U

I       H

T      ST

“sit down and shut up”



January 25, 2007

·         Education is not received. It is achieved.

·         You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.—Friedrich Nietzsche

·         The average American would drive his car to the bathroom if the door was wide enough.

·         I'm trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep.—Jim Loy

·         A bureaucrat's idea of cleaning up his cluttered files is to make a copy of every paper before he destroys it.

·         Time, tide and bus drivers wait for no man.

·         WOD: 

·         AWOD:  Dandruff-n-The only thing some people can achieve on their own.

·         LYRIC: "Hey Kathy, how're you doin'? I'm doin' fine... so leave me alone!"—Groovie Ghoulies: Doin' Fine



“missing in action”


January 29, 2007

·         The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously.—Henry Kissinger

·         Great effort springs naturally from great attitude.—Pat Riley

·         If you have anything to tell me of importance, for God's sake begin at the end.—Sara Jeannette Duncan

·         One reason why a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they have never been offered one for a dollar down and a dollar a week.

·         Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?—James Thurber

·         Americans have the highest yearning power of any people on earth.

·         WOD:  Punctilious-adj-Extremely attentive to minute details of action or behavior.

·         AWOD:  Bureaucracy-n-more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.

·         LYRIC:  "Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste..."
"...pleased to meet you... hope you guessed my name..."—
Rolling Stones: Sympathy For The Devil"



“who’s in charge”


January 31, 2007

·         The axiomization and algebraization of mathematics, after more than 50 years, has led to the illegibility so such a large number of mathematical texts that the threat of complete loss of contact with physics and the natural sciences has been realized.—V. I. Arnold

·         You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know.—Oscar Wilde

·         A long Sunday drive can be a pleasure, but only if the ball stays on the fairway.

·         The trouble with a chronic borrower is that he always keeps everything but his word.

·         To be an ideal guest, stay at home.--Edgar Watson Howe

·         The greatest area of unemployment in the United States is just above the shoulders.

·         WOD: 

·         AWOD:  Actor-n-a man who clasps the woman he loves in his arms, looks tenderly into her eyes, and tells her how wonderful he is.

·         LYRIC:  "They're tryin' hard to put me in my place, and that is why I gotta keep running..."—Oasis: I Hope, I Think, I Know



“a little behind in the ren”


February 2, 2007

·         In connection with computer visualization, I have argued for the recognition of visual theorems where what the eye sees need not be verbalized let alone formalized in traditional formal mathematical language.—Philip Davis

·         Tell your secret to your servant and you make him your master.—Nathaniel Bailey

·         All in favor of conserving gasoline please raise your right foot.

·         The Agriculture Department says the average American eats 1,148 pounds of food a year. Of course, a lot of it goes to waist.

·         That's what show business is -- sincere insincerity.—Benny Hill

·         A lazy schoolboy lets his father do his homework, but a bright one helps his father with it.

·         WOD: 

·         AWOD:  Mistake-n-a blunder that has proven that somebody stopped talking long enough to do something.

·         LYRIC:  "I can't go on... taking roses from your grave..."—Smashing Pumpkins: Behold! The Night Mare




DA   G  WN

“get up at the break of dawn”


March 5, 2007

·         There's a terrible problem that I run into in teaching, which is that when you tell people something, you keep them from knowing it. If they find it on their own, they'll know it in a way they never will if you tell them. What I try to more and more is to bring students to my studio and get them really working.—Richard Benson

·         There is no way to peace, peace is the way.—A. J. Muste

·         People take shorter honeymoons nowadays, but they take them more often.

·         Resort hotels in Florida are usually surrounded by tropical plants - mostly outstretched palms.

·         Once you've put one of his books down, you simply can't pick it up again.—Mark Twain (talking about Henry James)

·         The trouble with being pleasant is people think you're a hypocrite.—Franklin P. Jones

·         WOD:  Oscitant-adj-Yawning, gaping from drowsiness. 2. Inattentive, dull, negligent.

·         AWOD:  Absurdity-n-A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.—Ambrose Bierce

·         LYRIC:  "Is anyone going anywhere? Everyone's gotta be... somewhere..."—Stereophonics: Traffic


P                       P

R                  R

E                E

S             S

S         S

U     U

R  R


“cave into the pressure”



March 7, 2005

·         Before Gutenburg, illustration and type were one in the same; they were inseparable. But afterward, the two disciplines became separate and diverged. Now that we've got the [graphic computer], I can see a medium where they come back together again.—Scott Kim

·         I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.—Arthur Rubinstein

·         A glutton's greedy sense of taste shows little sense but lots of waist.

·         Anyone can put off an unpleasant duty, but it takes a real strong-willed man to ignore it completely.

·         The point to remember is what government gives it must first take away.—John S. Caldwell

·         Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.—Oscar Levant

·         WOD:  Subaltern-adj-Ranked or ranged below; subordinate; inferior.

·         AWOD:  Creditor-n-The only man who sticks closer to you in adversity than a friend.

·         LYRIC:  "I know I'm not the one you thought you knew back in high-school..."
"I don't wanna waste my time, become another casualty of society... I'll never fall in line, become another victim of your conformity..."—
Sum 41: Fat Lip




March 9, 2007

·         There's another unrecognized cause of the failure [of mathematics education]: misconception of the nature of mathematics. A philosophy of mathematics that obscures the teachability of mathematics is unacceptable.—Reuben Hersh

·         Optimism is essential to achievement and it is also the foundation of courage and true progress.—Nicholas Murray Butler

·         Many people think they have a grievance when it's only indigestion.

·         Some people never let ideas interrupt the easy flow of their conversation.

·         Everybody should have at least two friends -- one to talk to and one to talk about.

·         The trouble with some golfers is that they stand too close to the ball-after they hit it.

·         WOD:  Morass-n-something that hinders, engulfs, or overwhelms

·         AWOD:  America-n-the land of the spree and the home of the crave.

·         LYRIC:  “Out there is beauty, and surely there is pain, but we must endure it to live again.”—Iron Maiden: Out of the Shadows



10    2   10


“too intense”



March 13, 2007

·         If a field ever needed to be brought out of mystery to reality, it is calculus. . . Calculus is really exciting stuff, yet [the traditional course is] not presenting it as an exciting subject. . . Calculus must become a pump instead of a filter in the pipeline.—Robert White, Past President of the National Academy of Engineering

·         It is better to say, "This one thing I do" than to say, "These forty things I dabble in."—Washington Gladden

·         One reason we have so many pennies in the church collection basket is because we have no smaller coins.

·         A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he's talking about.

·         A chrysanthemum by any other name would be easier to spell.

·         Be kind to everybody. You never know who might show up on the jury at your trial.

·         WOD:  Apoplexy-n-a fit of rage or anger

·         AWOD:  Autobiography-n-the most respectable form of lying.—Humphrey Carpenter

·         LYRIC:  “Punk rock girl give me a chance, let’s go slam dance, we’ll travel ‘round the world, just you and me punk rock girl”—Dead Milkmen










“your time is up”



March 26, 2007

·         [Pedagogical Content Knowledge is the] particular form of content knowledge that embodies the aspects of content most germane to its teachability.... the ways of representing and formulating the subject that make it comprehensible to others.—Lee Shulman

·         Knowledge has to be improved, challenged, and increased constantly, or it vanishes.—Peter F. Drucker

·         I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.—Billy Connolly

·         I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as heck.—Garry Shandling

·         When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.—Henny Youngman

·         The older generation thinks nothing of getting up at six in the morning -- and the younger generation doesn't think much of it either.

·         WOD:  Lethe-n-forgetfulness, oblivion

·         AWOD:  Architecture-n-petrified music.—Felix E. Schelling

·         LYRIC:  "I want everyone to know that nothing is important, everything's alright..."—Wilt: No Worries







“give it up”



March 28, 2007

·         The job of the teacher is to translate the textbook into the vernacular.—Paul Halmos

·         I am tomorrow, or some future day, what I establish today. I am today what I established yesterday or some previous day.—James Joyce

·         Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.—Woody Allen

·         I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.—Robert McCloskey

·         I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.—Oscar Wilde

·         Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

·         WOD:  Apercu-n-a hasty glance; glimpse

·         AWOD:  Actor-n-a sculptor who carves in the snow.

·         LYRIC:  Far away from the land of our birth. We fly a flag in some foreign earth. We sailed away like our fathers before. These colours don't run, from cold bloody war.”—Iron Maiden




March 30, 2007

·         At the beginning, a lot of the students' effort has to go into memorizing words, when it could go more advantageously into learning mathematics. Paying more attention to vocabulary than content obscures the content.—Ralph Boas, Past President of the Mathematical Association of America

·        Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.—Plato

·         All business sagacity reduces itself in the last analysis to a judicious use of sabotage.—Thorstein Veblen

·         If you really want to help the American theater, don't be an actress, dahling. Be an audience.—Tallulah Bankhead

·         When you have no basis for an argument, abuse the plaintiff.—Cicero

·         The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

·         WOD:  Cavort-v-to bund or prance in merriment; romp; frolic

·         AWOD:  Prosperity-n-the thing that keeps us in debt.

·         LYRIC:  Nobody ever had a dream round here, but I don't really mind and/that it's starting to get to me.”—The Killers



“line up in alphabetical order”


April 3, 2007

·         If you are going to explain to an average class how to find the distance from a point to a plane, you should first find the distance from {2,-3,1} to the plane x - 2y - 4 z = 7. After that, the general procedure will seem almost obvious. Textbooks used to be written this way.

·        He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.Elbert Hubbard

·         Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.—Dr. Laurence J. Peter

·         A speaker who doesn't strike oil in twenty-five minutes should stop boring.

·         An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be.

·         A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.

·         WOD:  Undulant-adj- Resembling waves in form, motion, or occurrence.

·         AWOD:  Monotony-n-the awful reward of the careful.—A.G. Buckham

·         LYRIC:  “Oooooo, I love you, maybe, and I hope it goes away.”—Sonata Arctica: Last Drop Falls



“backfield in motion”



April 10, 2007

·         A sweater is what a child puts on when its parent feels cold, but a proof is what students have to listen to when the teacher feels shaky about a theorem. 

·         Nothing lowers the level of conversation more than raising the voice.—Stanley Horowitz

·         Be better, walk taller, and always smile wider.—Brenda Olmos

·         I started out with nothing. I still have most of it.—Michael Davis

·         If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".

·         Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.—Dave Barry

·         Why can we remember the tiniest detail that has happened to us, and not remember how many times we have told it to the same person.—François de la Rochefoucauld

·         WOD:  Surreal-adj-having the quality of a hallucination or a dream; unreal; fantastic

·         AWOD:  Child Prodigy-n-a youngster who knows how to go to his psychiatrist all by himself.

·         LYRIC:  “The only sure thing are taxes and dyin’, but your lovin’ makes livin’ worth while.”—Jerry Jeff Walker


UR  UR  UR  UR      UR  UR  UR


“you’re out of line”


April 16, 2004

·         Only professional mathematicians learn anything from proofs. Other people learn from explanations. A great deal can be accomplished with arguments that fall short of formal proofs.

·         You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.—Buddha

·         My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, "Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.”—Paula Poundstone quotes

·         Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

·         My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.—Walter Matthau quotes

·         It's relaxing to go out with my ex-wife because she already knows I'm an idiot.—Warren Thomas

·         WOD:  Titivate-v-To make smarter; to spruce up; to decorate.

·         AWOD:  Automation-n-a system where electronic devices act just like human beings by doing things without using any intelligence.

·         LYRIC:  But my heart, it don’t beat, it don’t beat the way it used to.  And my eyes, they don’t see you no more.”—The Killers: For Reasons Unknown









“a right cross followed by an uppercut”



April 24, 2007

·         As a means of instruction, lectures ought to have become obsolete when the printing press was invented. We had a second chance when the Xerox machine was invented, but we muffed it.

·         Be yourself, who else is better qualified?—Frank J. Giblin

·         I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.—Edgar Allan Poe

·         Some men, in telling a fish story, will go to any length.

·         Some days even my lucky rocketship underpants won't help.—Calvin & Hobbes quotes

·         Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.—Sam Brown

·         WOD:  Caesious-adj-Bluish or grayish green.

·         AWOD:  New York-n-an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.—Johnny Carson

·         LYRIC:  The candy store paupers lie to the share holders.  They're crossing their fingers they pay the truth makers.  The balance sheet is breaking up the sky.”—Midnight Oil



“run it into the ground”



May 7, 2007

·         Contemporary prose style is simpler and more direct than the style of the 19th century- except in textbooks of mathematics. ....I blame the authors of textbooks for not realizing that contemporary students speak a different language.

·         Until he extends the circle of his compassion to all living things, man will not himself find peace.—Albert Schweitzer

·         When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.—Woody Allen

·         Lecturers should remember that the capacity of the mind to absorb is limited to what the seat can endure.

·         When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.—Elayne Boosler

·         You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.—Dave Barry

·         WOD:  Supplant-v-To take the place of and serve as a substitute for.

·         AWOD:  Appeaser-n-one who feeds a crocodile -- hoping it will eat him last.—Winston Churchill

·         LYRIC:  “You’ll never be what you’ll never be, but you can always be the one for me, baby.”—Bob Schneider: The Way Life is Supposed to Be



“last but not least”


May 2, 2007

·         When you want a student to learn about math, do you give a great lecture, introducing new ideas, new terminology, new notation Or do you arrange for the student to play with lots of math kitties and let them form their own first impressions?

·         A lot of happiness is overlooked because it doesn't cost anything.

·         Every family should have several children, so that if one is a genius, there will be others to support him.

·         A lot of folks think they are generous because they give free advice.

·         I'm fascinated by historical trivia. For example, George Washington had trouble flossing because his teeth kept catching fire.—Gary Apple

·         In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.—Woody Allen

·         WOD:  Oscitant-adj-Yawning, gaping from drowsiness. OR Inattentive, dull, negligent.

·         AWOD:  Conference-n-a meeting to decide when and where the next meeting will be held.

·         LYRIC:  “I can still remember when I was just a kid.  When friends were friends forever, and what you said was what you did.”—Bon Jovi: Blood on Blood



“right hand man”


May 7, 2007

·         If mathematics were formally true but in no way enlightening, then mathematics would be a curious game played by weird people. ,,, Mathematicians seldom explicitly acknowledge the phenomenon of enlightenment.....

·         To find a person who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness.—Robert Brault

·         It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.—Harry Hill

·         Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.—William Shakespeare

·         Steer clear of word-making-up-ism.

·         I am about to--or I am going to—die; either expression is used.—Dominique Bouhours, French grammarian, dying words

·         There are no precedents.  You are the first you that ever was.—Christopher Morley

·         Beyond living and dreaming, there is something more important.—Antonio Machado

·         WOD:  Passel-n-a group or lot of indeterminate number.

·         AWOD:  Husband-n-what is left after the nerve has been extracted.—Helen Rowland

·         LYRIC:  “I feel that my social behaviour may seem somewhat unrehearsed, [but] I’m finally independently happy.”—Blue October


The Mill, The Mill, The Mill, The Mill, The Mill

“run of the mill”


May 16, 2007

·         It has been an acknowledged fact, since Poincare pointed an accusing finger at the Twentieth Century, that much of the mathematics of our time has had negative overtones.

·         Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.—Katherine Mansfield

·         Sure signs of lazy writing are incomplete lists, etc.

·         Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.—H. L. Mencken

·         Some people will believe anything if you whisper it to them.—Louis Nizer

·         Walking isn't a lost art -- how else can one get to the garage?

·         WOD: Sessile-adj-Permanently attached; immobile

·         AWOD:  Food-n-an important part of a balanced diet.—Fran Lebowitz

·         LYRIC:  “Sometimes I’m nervous when I talk (I shake a little.)  Sometimes I hate the line I walk.  I just want to show you what I know, and catch you when the current let’s you go.”—The Killers




“too good to last”