2012-2013 school year

August 27, 2012

·         The only way to learn mathematics is to do mathematics.—Paul Halmos

·         How does one become a butterfly? You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.—Trina Paulus

·         We need to talk, so don't interrupt!

·         "I" before "e" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"

·         Scientists discover extinct tortoise in Galapagos.  Next on the agenda, the definition of extinct.

·         Gee, I sure hope the dead cockroach I found in the basement died of loneliness.

·         WOD: Stentorian-adj- very loud or powerful in sound, like a voice. 

·         AWOD: Debt-n-along with length and width, one of the three dimensions of a credit card.

·         LYRIC: “Good work is the key to good fortune.”—Rush: Roll The Bones

·         SAY WHAT: WISH SHALLOW FORK HUM  (we shall overcome)


Try Try

 “try to understand me”



At the bus stop mom picked up lil’ Jack

Greeted him then took his back pack

“How was your first day of school?

I hope you thought it was cool”

“First day?! You mean I have to go back?”


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

·         Questions are creative acts of intelligence.—Frank Kingdon

·         You have to “be” before you can  “do.”  You have to “do” before you “achieve.”—Zig Ziglar

·         Prison guard sounds like a pretty easy job. Who's going to steal a prison?

·         You are only your worst critic until you become my friend.

·         I am my most photogenic when the pictures are of someone else.

·         The worst thing to be beaten with is probably an olive branch.

·         WOD: Blandishment-n-something, as an action or speech, thattends to flatter, coax, entice, etc

·         AWOD:  Moths-n-butterflies without any makeup.

·         LYRIC: “You’re standing on the top of my shoe, you’re keeping me from gaining ground.”—Blue October: Should Be Loved

·         SAY WHAT:  MATCH HICK KATE PAUL (magic eight ball)



 “throw in the towel”



The Republican National Convention

Is held amid some apprehension.

As stormy winds hamper

The party in Tampa,

Can this be divine intervention?


Friday, August 31, 2012

·         Nature is an infinite sphere of which the center is everywhere and the circumference nowhere.—Blaise Pascal

·         Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional. We cannot avoid pain, but we can avoid joy.—Tim Hansel

·         Let’s pretend to get together soon.

·         My garage band “Insufficient Memory” really needs a Gig.

·         They should make vegetables out of something people want to eat.

·         I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

·         WOD: Avuncular-adj- of, pertaining to, or characteristic of an uncle

·         AWOD: Boredom-n-the desire for desires.

·         LYRIC: “We all have a face that we hide away forever, and we take them out and show ourselves when everyone has gone.”—Billy Joel: The Stranger

·         SAY WHAT:  THESIS NOPE LACE FURL EIGHTY (this is no place for a lady)


                                            C                    R

                                            A                    E

                                            L         &        E

                                            M                   H


 “calm down and cheer up”



There was an old fellow named Neil

Whose life was a very big deal.

He trod on the moon,

Although rather soon

Conspiracists said “it ain’t real!”


Monday, September 10, 2012

·         Millions saw the apple fall, but only Newton asked “why?”—Bernard Baruch

·         The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.—Ralph Waldo Emerson 

·         Jack looked at Jill after they got the water and knew it was all downhill from there.

·         Nobody likes surveys. I don't know how I know that.

·         Beware when taking a magician's exam; the test is loaded with trick questions.

·         I was planning to go to the Outdoor Wilderness Survival Show at the Convention Center this weekend. But not in this weather.

·         WOD: Interlocutor-n- a person who takes part in a conversation or dialogue.

·         AWOD:  Mosquitoes-n-Vampire Flies

·         LYRIC: “If you are confused check with the sun, carry a compass to help you along.”—REM: Stand

·         SAY WHAT: LOAF VERSE TRY ANKLE (lover’s triangle)


 “grid iron”



A top US cyclist named Lance

Accused of drugs used to enhance

His speed in the saddle

Is up creek without paddle

And has lost his 7 Tours de France



Tuesday, September 18, 2012

·         There is a difference between not knowing and not knowing yet.—Shelia Tobias

·         The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.—Henry David Thoreau

·         I put the “un” in “predictable.”

·         All I want is a better life than my kids.

·         Seems like I can’t go anywhere in my house without somebody recognizing me.

·         To err is human.  To forgive, canine.

·         WOD: Gaucherie-n- lack of social grace, sensitivity, or acuteness; awkwardness;crudeness; tactlessness.

·         AWOD: Ninja Diet-n-eating whatever you want and never getting caught.

·         LYRIC: “To the girl who cries, ‘Water in the basement!’  You drama everything.”—Blue October: Drama Everything

·         SAY WHAT: KITTEN SCENE GULF AISLE (get in single file) 










 “growing restless”



There was a tech business from Seoul

Which got in a bit of a hole.

Rival firm Apple

Won their legal grapple

As a US court said Samsung stole.


Tuesday, September 25, 2012

·         Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them.—Albert Einstein

·         Some people develop a wishbone where their back bone should be.—Anon

·         Kelly Blue Book says the easiest way to triple the value of your car is to fill it with gas.

·         Give a man a gun he can rob a bank.  Give a man a bank he can rob the world

·         I'm paranoid AND needy.  I think people are talking about me, just not as often as I'd like.

·         I'm getting pretty nervous about my math exam.  I think I've got a 40:40% chance of passing.

·         WOD: Détente-n- a relaxing of tension, especially between nations, as bynegotiations or agreements.

·         AWOD: Towels-n-the biggest cause of dry skin.

·         LYRIC: “It just takes a while to travel from your head to your fist.”—Depeche Mode: People are People

·         SAY WHAT: AIM HEY JERK RICE HISS (a major crisis)



 “role back”



Sugary drinks make me glad
That I can drink them no more makes me sad
Your drinks must be small
No more are they tall
NYC has said sugar is bad.



Monday, October 1, 2012

·         Math is the science of what is clear by itself.—Jacobi

·         Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you’re alive, it isn’t.—Richard Bach

·         I wish my cat would stop thinking outside the box.

·         I'm like a well-oiled machine that someone forgot to oil.

·         If the recipe calls for crushed ice, just tell the cubes they'll never amount to anything.

·         I have a black eye in Karate.

·         WOD: Evanescent-adj- disappearing gradually; vanishing; fading away.

·         AWOD:  Ulcers-n-an ailment caused not so much by what we eat as by what's eating us.

·         LYRIC: “We got time, but that ain’t much.  We can’t wait ‘til tomorrow.”—The Killers: Runaways

·         SAY WHAT: ICE MAIL ASK HUNK (I smell a skunk)


 “rollover minutes”



Mac cultists sure needed their drug
An iPhone to make them feel smug
Because it’s a 5
It’s coming alive
Of course you will need a new plug


Thursday, October 11, 2012

·         Mathematics is a great motivator for all humans, because its career starts with “zero” but it never ends (infinity).—R. Vignesh

·         Give me a stock clerk with a goal, and I will give you a man who will make history. Give me a man without a goal, and I will give you a stock clerk.—J.C. Penney

·         I wasn’t such a great math student in high school, so the 3 words I feared the most were, “Pop Quiz.”

·         Somewhere between the blah blah blah and the yadda yadda, you've got a point there.

·         I quit school in 6th grade because of pneumonia.  Not because I had it, but because I couldn’t spell it.—Rocky Graziano

·         Freak out your neighbors. Name your wifi "FBI Surveillance Van".

·         WOD: Garish-adj-overly bright and showy in an unpleasant way.

·         AWOD:  Bed-n-a magical place where you suddenly remember everything you were supposed to do and/or have to do.

·         LYRIC: “Before you swallow me into your perfect life, I’m not going out without a fight.”—Last Chance Blueprint: Rise Against

·         SAY WHAT: ALE HUM PEN MOTH WROTE (a lump in my throat)


 “all shook up



Cried an Apple fan, "Lord, it's appalling,
That it's Jobs, whom you ended up calling".
Said the Lord, "My dear lad,
I need him pretty bad--
You see, my iPad needs overhauling!"


Friday, October 19, 2012

·         The individual mathematician feels free to define his notions and set up his axioms as he pleases.—Hermann Weyl

·         Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.—Charles Schulz

·         Turns out company doesn't love misery.

·         I ran into my old English teacher. He said, "Goode to see ye!"

·         If you're looking for someone to disappoint you, I won't disappoint you.

·         Whoever snuck the 'S' into Fast Food ...well played! 

·         WOD: Languid-adj- lacking in vigor or vitality; slack or slow; lacking in spirit or interest; listless; indifferent.

·         AWOD: Diet-n-something that takes your breadth away.

·         LYRIC: “Step on the gas, wipe that tear away."—The Beatles: You Never Give Me Your Money

·         SAY WHAT: UKE HOT TUBE EACH OAKEN (you’ve got to be joking)


 “I stand corrected”



On a merry-go-round in the night,
Coriolis was shaken with fright.
Despite how he walked,
'Twas like he was stalked,
By some fiend always pushing him right.


Monday, October 29, 2012

·         Two dogs and two dogs are certainly four dogs, but cases arise in which you are doubtful whether two of them are dogs.—Bertrand Russell

·         Say what you want to say when you have the feeling and the chance. My greatest regrets are the things I did not do, the opportunities missed and the things unsaid.—Jim Keller

·         Please do not disturb me.  I'm disturbed enough already.

·         The next time there's an awkward silence, try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"

·          My doctor said I need to quit my helium addiction before I get carried away.

·         I keep a well-stocked pantry in case friends drop by. I could hide in there for days.

·         WOD: Quixotic-adj- extravagantly chivalrous or romantic; visionary, impractical,or impracticable.

·         AWOD: Yo yo-n-A 6-year-old’s toy; two gang members talking.

·         LYRIC: “As you look all around at the world in dismay, what do you see, do you think we have learned?”—Iron Maiden: Blood Brothers

·         SAY WHAT: ARRAY SUCK HINTS THICK LOCK (a race against the clock)

 “go with the flow”



Dracula wailed to the sky
"My job really sucks" was his cry
"bloody paychecks
and I'm so sick of necks
what I'd like is a nice apple pie!"


Friday, November 09, 2012

·         That sometimes clear ... and sometimes vague stuff ... which is ... mathematics.—Imre Lakatos

·         You can have anything you want if you are willing to give up the belief that you can't have it.—Robert Anthony

·         You don't need training to be a garbage collector. You just pick it up as you go along.

·         I'll accomplish something with my life as soon as my computer breaks and I lose my phone.

·         Did Styx and the Stones ever perform together?

·         My eyes are bigger than my stomach. But my stomach is catching up.

·         WOD: Morose-adj- gloomily or sullenly ill-humored, as a person or mood.

·         AWOD:  Optimist-n-someone with very little experience.

·         LYRIC: “You’re standing on the top of my shoe, you’re keeping me from gaining ground.”—Blue October: Should Be Loved

·         SAY WHAT: ACHE INKS HIGH SPED (a king sized bed)


“like a fish out of water”



I'm sorry to cause a commotion
But I've trouble combating emotion
Whenever I’m near you.
Because it is clear you
'Re rejecting my hopeless devotion.


Monday, November 26, 2012

·         29 more days until Christmas.  24 more days of procrastination.

·         Don’t worry about what you eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Worry about what you eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving.

·         Ah, the thrill of watching kicking, blocking, tackling, and running. But enough about Black Friday.

·         Days are short in December but spending them with family really stretches them out.

·         Outside the snow is falling and friends are calling "Yoo Hoo." So I have to sit here in the dark without TV til they go away.

·         My doctor recommended a glutton-free Thanksgiving.

·         WOD: Petulant-adj- moved to or showing sudden, impatient irritation, especially over sometrifling annoyance.

·         AWOD: Black Friday-n-the day in America when people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have.

·         LYRIC: “We were the kings and queens of promise.  We were the victims of ourselves.”—30 Seconds to Mars: Kings and Queens

·         SAY WHAT: HIT SUN OWE BULK HALLS (it’s a noble cause)


“relative humidity”



A new class of antidepressants
Is targeted at adolescents:
They lose track of time,
Of meter, of rhyme,
It’s really sad.


Friday, November 30, 2012

·         Geometry is not true, it is convenient and advantageous.—Henri Poincare

·         Some people are so fond of ill luck that they run halfway to meet it.—Douglas Jerrold

·         Smartphone users need to get their head out of their apps.

·         I picked a bad week to get out of bed.

·         I'm in training for a movie marathon.

·         Evidently, my admirers are all secret.

·         WOD: Hackneyed-adj- made commonplace or trite; stale; banal

·         AWOD: Karaoke-n-of all martial arts, the one that inflicts the most pain.

·         LYRIC: “What happened to our innocence, did it go out of style?”—Rush: Different Strings

·         SAY WHAT: WEAK ANTS AIM HUTCH MOURN OWL (we can’t say much more now)


“tennis lesson”



Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, 
Watching his chips mount high; 
He sat awhile grinning, 
Then said, "Ha! I'm winning, 
What a wizard at poker am I."


Monday, December 10, 2012

·         Few men speak humbly of humility, chastely of chastity, skeptically of skepticism.—Blaise Pascal

·         The first duty of love is to listen.—Paul Tillich

·         I have no idea why I walked in to the Short-Term Memory Clinic.

·         It pains me to say it, but I have a sore throat.


·         Your secrets are safe with me . . . I wasn’t even listening.

·         WOD: Gadfly-n-a person who persistently annoys or provokes others with criticism, schemes, ideas, demands, requests, etc.

·         AWOD: Vote-n-The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.—Bierce

·         LYRIC: “Where there desire there is gonna be a flame.  Where there is a flame someone’s gonna get burned.”—P!nk: Try

·         SAY WHAT: LIE SIN SAND DREDGES TRAY SHUN (license and registration)


“six degrees of separation”



A decrepit old gas man named Peter, 
While hunting around for the meter, 
Touched a leak with his light, 
He arose out of sight, 
And, as anyone can see by reading this, it 
also destroyed the meter.


Friday, December 14, 2012

·         How can it be that mathematics, being after all a product of human thought independent of experience, is so admirably adapted to the objects of reality?—Einstein

·         Some things have to be believed to be seen.

·         Researchers have discovered that people will believe anything that you tell them researchers have discovered.

·         Lazy People Fact #5812672794: You were too lazy to read that number.

·         There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you’re supposed to be doing something else.

·         You’re always welcome in the “Show Me” state, because Missouri loves company.

·         Anything unrelated to pachyderms is irrelephant.

·         WOD: Pince-nez-n- a pair of glasses held on the face by a spring that grips the nose.

·         AWOD: Wit-n-The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.—Bierce

·         LYRIC: “Well, I stand up next to a mountain, And I chop it down with the edge of my hand”—Jimi Hendrix: Vodoo Child

·         SAY WHAT: WEENIE DAVE ACHE ASIAN (we need a vacation)





“lost in the crowd”



There was a young fellow who sat 
Quite thoughtlessly flat on his hat. 
He reposed there a while 
And so altered its style, 
That he uses it now for a mat.


Monday, January 7, 2013

·         I rarely think in words at all. A thought comes, and I may try to express it in words afterward.—Einstein

·         A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.—Churchill

·         “Always leave them wanting more” is my standard approach to paying bills.

·         Of COURSE we can be friends . . . just not with each other.

·         Listen, calling people name says a lot more about you than it does about them, you idiot!

·         The worst part about sharing a name with someone famous is I’m always telling people, “No, I’m not THAT Batman.”

·         WOD: Perambulate-v- to walk through, about, or over; travel through; traverse.

·         AWOD: Accordion-n-an instrument for the bendy of arms and the hard of hearing.

·         LYRIC: “All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be"—Pink Floyd: Breath

·         SAY WHAT: EASEL AID EASE MAN (he’s a ladies man)





“mountain lion”



New Years Eve has become a cliché
For a new start, the old giving way.
But other than taxes
The salient fact is
With the sun rise it’s just a new day.



Friday, January 11, 2013

·         Universities hire professors the way some men choose wives - they want the ones the others will admire.—Morris Kline

·         Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.—Helen Rowland

·         My brain is like a clown car for bad ideas.

·         The days of good grammar has went.

·         If women really want to be treated as equals, they need to stop being so much smarter than men.

·         The imaginary enemy of my enemy is my imaginary friend.

·         WOD: Hoary-adj- gray or white with age:

·         AWOD: Book-n-collection of paper that can raise your intelligence or your table.

·         LYRIC: “If you want to destroy my sweater hold this thread as I walk away”—Weezer: Undone

·         SAY WHAT: THUD HAM ITCHES STUN (the damage is done)


“face to face with danger”



Hawking’s "Brief History of Time"
is such a relief! How sublime
that time, in reverse,
may un-write this verse
and un-spend my last thin dime!


Monday, January 21, 2013

·         But Nature flies from the infinite, for the infinite is unending or imperfect, and Nature ever seeks an end.—Aristotle

·         You grow up the day you have your first real laugh - at yourself.—Ethel Barrymore

·         If everyone is laughing I can't be hurt too badly, right?

·         If you notice a person is deceiving you, they must not be deceiving you very well.

·         You leaving the office for two weeks is all the vacation time I need.

·         Of all the different blood groups, Type Os make the most spelling mistakes.

·         WOD: Peroration-n- a long speech characterized by lofty and often pompous language.

·         AWOD: Connoisseur-n-a French name for eating french food and surviving.

·         LYRIC: “Opinions were like kittens. I was giving them away."—Modest Mouse: Out of Gas

·         SAY WHAT: CHEST HEY KITTY SEA (just take it easy)


“their back against the wall”



There ONCE was an OLD man from WHEEL-ing
Who HAD a pe-CUL-i-ar FEEL-ing
Said the SIGN on the DOOR
Please don't SPIT on the FLOOR 
So he JUMPED up and SPIT on the CEIL-ing.


Tuesday, January 29, 2013

·         A good mathematical joke is better, and better mathematics, than a dozen mediocre papers.—J.E. Littlewood

·         Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor.—Jackson Brown

·         I never run with scissors. Actually, those last two words were unnecessary.

·         Let's reflect for a moment on all those souls stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride stationary bicycles.

·         If laughter was really the best medicine, you can bet my insurance would only cover giggles, chuckles and snickers.

·         It does not surprise me that those people abducted by aliens all get brought back.

·         WOD: Approbation-n- approval; commendation; official approval or sanction.

·         AWOD: Doorway-n-a type of entrance some make special by coming in and others by going out.

·         LYRIC: “A quiet desperation's building higher.  I've got to remember this is just a game.”—30 Seconds to Mars: Beautiful Lie

·         SAY WHAT: THIN HEIGHT SOLVED AROUND ABLE (the knights of the round table)


“unintended consequences”



A planet called Pluto by name

Grew vast in stature and fame.

It had its own moon,

And yet all too soon

Was demoted to Dwarf Planet shame.


Friday, February 08, 2013

·         The mathematician's best work is art, a high perfect art.— Gösta Mittag-Leffler

·         I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.—Yogi Berra

·         Whenever I'm sad, I try to imagine a T-Rex trying to put on a hat.

·         FUN FACT: The Mamas & Papas song Monday, Monday was inspired by the Beatles song Eight Days A Week.

·         The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

·         I went into the kitchen this morning and said to the wife, "Is that coffee I smell?" She said, "It is and you do."

·         WOD: Effulgence-n- a brilliant radiance; a shining forth.

·         AWOD: Guilt-n-an unnatural feeling for a natural feeling.

·         LYRIC: "I was so much older then.  I'm younger than that now."—Bob Dylan: My Back Pages

·         SAY WHAT: AWE HAY SPY MICE HIDE (always by my side)


“put up your dukes”



There once was a star so immense

It became incredibly dense

Then collapsed at great rate

To a terrible fate

And has been a black hole ever since.


Wednesday, 2-20-13

·         Men pass away, but their deeds abide.— Augustin-Louis Cauchy

·         I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.—Oscar Wilde

·         Tupperware lids are like snowflakes, no two are alike.

·         I'm more confused than a circular pizza in a square box, cut into triangular slices.

·         I hope my travel mug tells stories to all my stay-at-home dishes. 

·         I can always count on you to be totally unreliable.

·         WOD: Antipathy-n- a natural, basic, or habitual repugnance; aversion.

·         AWOD: Indecision-n- term given to the period between birth and death.

·         LYRIC: “You must sleep in the stinking bed that you've made.”—Sonata Arctica: 8th Commandment

·         SAY WHAT: LED SKIT AUTO FEAR (let’s get out of here)


“all kidding aside”



Said Schrodinger’s Cat with a smile,

“I’ll be in the box with a vile.

With the poison I’ll be

Quantum tangled, you see,

Thus alive and dead both all the while.


Thursday, February 28, 2013

·         It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.—G.K. Chesterton

·         People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.—Zig Ziglar

·         Not knowing the difference between patronizing and condescending is nothing to worry your silly little self about. 

·         The best way to avoid parking tickets is to remove your windshield wipers.

·         The Internet. All of the piracy, none of the scurvy.

·         Next time you get into a crowded elevator say, “I bet you’re all wondering why I brought you together.”

·         WOD: Grudging-adj- displaying or reflecting reluctance or unwillingness:

·         AWOD: Instant-adj-term to describe anything that tastes horrible quickly.

·         LYRIC:  “Given the chance, I’m gonna be somebody.”—Kings of Leon

·         SAY WHAT: COUCH ORAL UH KISS TARS  (count your lucky stars)


 “air hockey



Dark matter has never been spied.

Its existence only implied.

But if not there in space,

Galaxies drift from their place

And in clusters no longer reside.


Friday, March 22, 2013

·         One should study mathematics because it helps to arrange one’s ideas.—M.W. Lomonossow

·         Don’t wait to strike until the iron is hot.  Make the iron hot by striking it.—William Sprague

·         Google: I know everything. Facebook: I know everyone. Internet: Without me, you're nothing. Electricity: Keep talking fools.

·         Certainly we compost, second drawer in the fridge.


·         My older sister is tired of me calling her the beta release.

·         WOD: Testudo-n- a shelter formed by overlapping oblong shields, held by soldiers above their heads (or umbrellas)

·         AWOD: Home-n-where you can say anything you like, 'cause nobody listens to you anyway.

·         LYRIC: “This picture you see is nothing like the one I painted of me.”—Counting Crows: Love And Addiction

·         SAY WHAT: WORE THAT SWAY TEN COLD (worth its weight in gold)



“back in action”



An ancestor ancient and bold

In Africa years ago strolled.

He was much like an ape

In his size and his shape

But was also part human, I’m told.


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

·         Prime numbers are what’s left when you have taken all the patterns away. –Mark Haddon

·         If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.–Vincent Van Gogh

·         If you are trying to insult me, you are going to have to use smaller words

·         If God had intended for man to use the metric system, Jesus would have only had ten disciples!

·         Travel is very educational—I can now say "Kaopectate" in seven different languages.

·         I was on a date recently, and the guy took me horseback riding.  That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters."

·         WOD: Stricture-n- a remark or comment, especially an adverse criticism.

·         AWOD: Tattoo-n-permanent proof of temporary insanity.

·         LYRIC:  “You can't take my honor, You can't take my soul, You can't take the fact you'll never have control”—FFDP: Bulletproof

·         SAY WHAT: APE LAY TOUGH SCRAM BULL DIGS (a plate of scrambled eggs)



 “extended family”



We sent out our spaceship to Mars

To meet with the Red Planet Tsars.

We went there with glee

To find life there, you see,

But we found only meteor scars


Wednesday, April 10, 2013

·         But Piglet is so small that he slips into a pocket, where it is very comfortable to feel him when you are not quite sure whether twice seven is twelve or twenty-two.”― A.A. Milne

·         If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place. –Nora Roberts

·         Women should not have children after 35.  Really... 35 children are enough.

·         I gave my son a hint.  On his room door I put a sign: CHECKOUT TIME IS 18."

·         "How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America?"

·         Hedgehogs.  Why can't they just share the hedge?

·         WOD: Fatuous-adj- unreal; illusory.

·         AWOD: Careful Driver-n-one who just saw the car ahead of him get a traffic ticket.

·         LYRIC: "I'm not doing nothing wrong. So don't tell me nothing."—Willow Smith: Whip My Hair.

·         SAY WHAT: BE TAR HOUND TUB HUSH (beat around the bush)


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 “horse sense”



With conviction Heisenberg knew

Quantum uncertainty’s true.

We must let it suffice

Knowing one thing precise

For to know all at once is taboo.


Wednesday, April 17, 2013

·         Mathematics expresses values that reflect the cosmos, including orderliness, balance, harmony, logic, and abstract beauty.― Deepak Chopra

·         There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind. –C.S. Lewis

·         Crime in multi-storey car parks.  That is wrong on so many different levels.

·         Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.  The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

·         I got praised for my parking yesterday, someone left a piece of paper on my car saying "parking fine".WOD: Invective-n- vehement or violent denunciation, censure, or reproach.

·         I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative.

·         AWOD: Fault Finding-n-an activity like window washing, where all the dirt seems to be on the other side.

·         LYRIC: "Cause I know there's sunshine behind that rain. I know there's good times behind that pain."—Justin Bieber: Pray

·         SAY WHAT: CAN TWIN FOIL WHO SING (can’t win for losing)


 “talking points”



An astronomer stared into space

To see who else live in the place.

So far science has found

That no others abound

Except for our pitiful race.


Friday, April 26, 2013

·         The good Christian should beware of mathematicians. The danger already exists that mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.― Augustine of Hippo

·         Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need.—Voltaire

·         I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.

·         I'm sure wherever my dad is, he's looking down on us.  He's not dead - just very condescending.

·          A lot of people say that I'm egocentric—but enough about them.

·         My Life is like a game of chess.  It's long, boring and I don't really know what I'm doing.

·         WOD: Porcine-adj resembling swine; hoggish; piggish.

·         AWOD: Cow Tipping-n-the most aggressive form of lactose intolerance.

·         LYRIC: "Behind me the grace of falling snow Cover up everything you know."—Smashing Pumpkins: Quiet

·         SAY WHAT: DARE SWAN FOURTH HUB HOOKS (there’s one for the books)




 “high wire act”



If much time near a black hole is spent

You may find a horizon event.

Getting sucked in is bad

And will leave loved ones sad,

For they’ll wonder all time where you went.


Thursday, May 15, 2013

·         The formulation of the problem is often more essential than its solution, which may be merely a matter of mathematical or experimental skill.― Albert Einstein

·         In doubtful matters boldness is everything.—Publilius Syrus

·         I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'.  So we stopped playing chess.

·         I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.

·         If you watch Jaws backwards, it’s about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.

·         If a man said he'll fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

·         WOD: Waggish-adj- roguish in merriment and good humor; jocular:

·         AWOD: Tomorrow-n-A mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation, and achievement is stored.

·         LYRIC: "If it wasn't for guys like you, there wouldn't be songs like this."—Carrie Underwood: Songs Like This

·         SAY WHAT: DAWN WAY ROUT CHORE WILL COMB (don’t wear out your welcome)


 “lost in translation”



Newton’s equations reveal

That falling is not a big deal.

Since, except for uneasy

And just a bit queasy,

It’s the stop at the bottom you feel.


Tuesday, May 28, 2013

·         I'll tell you once, and I'll tell you again. There's always a prime between n and 2n.― Paul Erdos

·         Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.—Dale Carnegie

·         I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm not the sharpest elevator in the sea.

·         Remember, the difference between a champ and a chump is u.

·         I like to think my lack of common sense enhances my other senses.

·         You'd think the self-checkout lanes would have more mirrors.

·         WOD: Begrudge-v- to envy or resent the pleasure or good fortune of.

·         AWOD: Towels-n-the leading cause of dry skin.

·         LYRIC: "Tell me what you can hear then tell me what you see, Everybody has a different way to view the world"—Iron Maiden: Different World

·         SAY WHAT: DRAGON FILL DOVE HINTS (track and field events)



 “the comeback kid”



The first law of Newton I sing
My voice has a relevant ring:
"An object left free
Of hassles will be
Engrossed in just doing its thing."