Samuel Goldwyn Quotes
1882 -- 1974
One of the most eminent of the old Hollywood film
moguls, Samuel Goldfish arrived in America in 1893 without a penny to his
name. Goldfish went into partnership with Edgar Selwyn in a company whose name
took the first syllable of Goldfish's name and the last one of Selwyn's --
Goldwyn. Samuel Goldfish adopted and a legend was
born. He was also notorious for his misuses of the language. But he also
had quite the sharp wit. Sometimes his wit is mistaken for verbal flub, while
other times a verbal flub is the only conceivable explanation. Either way, this
collection of quotations is hilarious.
- "An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."
- "Gentlemen, include me out."
- "Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head
- "If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive."
- "They stayed away in droves."
- "Don't improve it into a flop!"
- "I don't want yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell the truth,
even if it costs them their jobs."
- "I read part of it all the way through."
- "I had a great idea this morning, but I didn't like it."
- "If I look confused it's because I'm thinking."
- "That's the trouble with directors. Always biting the hand that lays
the golden egg."
- "Tell them to stand closer apart."
- "For your information, just answer me one question!"
- "You fail to overlook the crucial point."
- "In two words, impossible."
- "It's absolutely impossible, but it has possibilities."
- "Go see that turkey for yourself, and see for yourself why you
shouldn't see it."
- "A hospital is no place to be sick."
- "Give me a couple of years, and I'll make that actress an overnight
- "If I were in this business only for the business, I wouldn't be in
- "I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, but I am never
- "Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day."
- "Even if they had it in the streets, I wouldn't go." -- On
- "Yes, but keep copies." -- When his secretary asked him if
she should destroy files that were over ten years old.
- "True, I've been a long time making up my mind, but now I'm giving
you a definite answer. I won't say yes, and I won't say no -- but I'm giving
you a definite maybe."
- "I don't care if it doesn't make a nickel. I just want every man,
woman, and child in America to see it."
- "A bachelor's life is no life for a single man."
- "Can she sing? She's practically a Florence Nightingale."
- "Let's have some new cliches."
- "Why did you do that? Every Tom, Dick and Harry is named Sam!"
-- When a friend told him he named his son Sam.
- "I paid too much for it, but it's worth it."
- "Yes, but that's our strongest weak point." -- When a
reporter asked a young Samuel Goldwyn if he'd ever made a picture before.
- "The trouble with this business is the dearth of bad pictures."
- "You've got to take the bull between your teeth."
- "We have that Indian scene. We can get the Indians from the
- "I have been laid up with intentional flu."
- "He treats me like the dirt under my feet."
- "I want to make a picture about the Russian secret police -- the
- "Let's bring it up to date with some snappy nineteenth century
- "There is a statue of limitation."
- "I never put on a pair of shoes until I've worn them at least five
- "Never make forecasts, especially about the future."
- "I don't think anyone should write his autobiography until after he's
- "Modern dancing is old fashioned."
- "This makes me so sore it gets my dandruff up."
- "Why is everything so dirty here?" Goldwyn once asked of a film
director. When told it was supposed to be a slum, Goldwyn responded,
"Well, this slum cost a lot of money. It should look better than an
- "Keep a stiff upper chin."
- "Gentlemen, listen to me slowly."
- "Don't worry about the war. It's all over but the shooting."
- "To hell with the cost, if it's a good story, I'll make it." -- When
told a particular script was "too caustic" for film.
- "Our comedies are not to be laughed at."
- "Put it out of your mind. In no time, it will be a forgotten
- "Television has raised writing to a new low."
- "Spare no expense to save money on this one."
- "I want you to put more life into your dying."
- "Coffee isn't my cup of tea."
- "That's the kind of ad I like, facts, facts,
- "When someone does something good, Applaud! You
will make two people happy."
- "No person who is enthusiastic about his work has
anything to fear from life."
- "If Roosevelt were alive, heíd turn over in his
- "If you fall and break your legs, donít come
running to me."
- "Itís more than magnificent-itís
- "I never liked you, and I always will."